I don’t know what to tell you, Husker Fan.
I know you usually come here for a little analysis of the game and a little big-picture thinking about life as a fan. Usually it involves some pithy invocation of “in all kinds of weather” as a call to persevere.
After Nebraska’s loss to Purdue, I’m running out of things to say. Nebraska football just feels like the sequel to “Groundhog’s Day” that no one needed, where we just see the same gut-punching loss over and over and over again.
At this point, it feels like we all need a little guidance for how to get through these troubled times. We’ve heard quite a bit about what’s OK and what’s not OK, so I thought it was time to look at that in terms of how fans should respond to Nebraska’s current foibles.
A LITTLE SELF-CARE IS OK
I get it, Husker Fan. Nebraska football is an integral part of your life, especially in the autumn. Gameday really is a three day event, covering the excitement of the day before, the game itself, and the day after either reveling or mourning the result of the game.
But these aren’t normal times. Nebraska is 4-5, and all but certainly will not be going to a bowl for a third straight year. To go from the dizzying heights of this year’s off-season Kool-Aid to getting beat by 2-6 Purdue is quite a fall.
So it’s OK to give Nebraska a little space for the rest of this year. I ended up listening to most of the second half on the radio doing yardwork, and it was far, far healthier than watching the television helplessly and obsessively refreshing Twitter. Just after the game was over, I changed out of my game-day apparel and put my Nebraska flag away. I was angry and frustrated and just couldn’t bear to look at the N any more.
It worked. Pretty soon, I was able to get myself into a far more regulated state of mind. One of the great things about sports is that we care so much about things that are ultimately meaningless. But if that’s true, then for our own sanity we have to be able to remember that it is meaningless in the grander scheme of things.
So do what you have to in order to get through these next few weeks – or few months. Not holding Nebraska football quite so tight as you usually do isn’t the same thing as letting it go.
QUITTING IS NOT OK
Look, I know it’s been a painful ride these last few years. But you wouldn’t be reading this if Nebraska football wasn’t a huge part of your identity. And it’s times like these – and unfortunately, Husker Fan, you’ve seen a lot of them – that will truly try your scarlet and cream soul.
But now’s not the time to pack it in. You’ve long ago bought a ticket to this thrill ride called Nebraska football. And sure, right now the roller-coaster car is on a long, long fall – and the track is uncomfortably shaking.
Even with that, though, you had a few shots of joy and excitement. Even in this game, there were many (although, in fairness, not quite enough) get-out-of-your-seat moments that you just don’t get to feel anyplace else. Walking away from Nebraska football means you’re giving those up, and I would suggest that your life would be the poorer for it.
And there’s a bigger stake to it as well. My main thesis about Nebraska football is that it has the potential to be great almost entirely because of it’s uniquely committed fanbase. If Nebraska fans allow the current run of frustration to cool the fire that’s burned since the 1940s, then Nebraska really does run the risk of becoming nothing more than just another midwestern B1G program.
Don’t let that happen, Husker Fan. Nebraska’s football program has the kind of administrative and financial backing it hasn’t had in some time. It has a young and promising head coach – who, we need to remember, is in his fourth season as a head coach. None of that guarantees success, of course, but there’s enough there that should convince you to stay on this crazy thrill ride with the rest of us.
BEING ANGRY IS OK
You can say all the happy, positive things you want, but it’s inarguable that Nebraska’s performances this season simply haven’t been good enough. There’s enough blame to go around to both players and coaches, and I don’t have either the expertise or the energy left to figure out how to apportion those.
But you’ve got every right to be angry about what you’ve seen. You’ve got every right to expect better. You’ve got every right to ask hard questions and expect to see answers.
That anger, that frustration, isn’t negativity. It’s holding a team and a coaching staff to a higher standard.
BEING UGLY IS NOT OK
Having said that, the anger and frustration does not give you license to be abusive. It doesn’t give you license to mindlessly vent your frustration at coaches. It certainly doesn’t give you license to
Mike Schaefer of 247 Sports put it better than I could.
Be angry, yes. Be frustrated, sure. But don’t be an asshole. And if you can’t tell the difference, maybe pipe down and go do some yardwork – or scroll down a little bit and read the bit about your self-worth not being defined by your favorite team’s performance.
BEING REALISTIC IS OK
There’s a certain segment of the fanbase that cannot abide anything other than rabid homerism. And for some people, that’s how they enjoy their experience of fandom, and if that’s what works more power to them.
But not everyone is like that. I find it’s way healthier to be able to look realistically at Nebraska as it is, as best as I can tell. Saying that Nebraska is unlikely to make a bowl this year isn’t negative – and after this game, probably not even much of a hot take. Saying that Adrian Martinez, for whatever reason, isn’t the guy that gives Nebraska the best chance to win isn’t being toxic. Saying that Scott Frost looks like he doesn’t know what to do with this team isn’t showing a lack of faith.
If you’re a Johnny Sunshine, all-optimism fan, then you do you. But a little dose of realism in the fanbase may help all of us be a little healthier.
BEING FATALISTIC IS NOT OK
I’m going to let you in on a few secrets.
Scott Frost isn’t going to get fired. He’s not going to fire all his coaches. Nebraska will, in fact, win another game – heck, they might even find a way to win two more and go to a bowl this year.
Fatalism is a defense mechanism, and an understandable one. If you give up on hope, then you can’t be disappointed. But marinating in that negativity for too long is just toxic. If you decide that everything in awful, you run the risk of losing the ability to see anything but the awful. And pretty soon that will suck all of the joy out of what should be something fun.
IT’S OK TO TAKE IT ONE GAME AT A TIME
This classic piece of coach-speak might be the most important way to keep your sanity, especially for the rest of this season. I know part of the fun of college football is to think about how a win in each game fits into the grander conference and national scheme of things.
Well, Husker Fan, that’s not an issue for Nebraska this year. But there’s still three games left – and we only get twelve of these for a whole year. It’s time to start looking at these last three games as individual, one-game spectacles. Regardless of what it may or may not mean in the grander scheme of things, Wisconsin is still coming to Lincoln next. We still get to see Nebraska at home in Memorial Stadium – and maybe, just maybe, all the emotional investment you’ve poured into this program will pay off for at least an afternoon.
Same thing with the Maryland game on the road in a few weeks. It’s still a Nebraska gameday. It’s still your chance to get on this crazy thrill ride we’ve all bought into. Regardless of what the broader implications of the result, it’s still a game to ride the wave.
And then the season ends with Iowa. Come on now, Husker Fan, even if Nebraska is sitting at 4-7, how good would it feel to knock off your noisy neighbors to the east? It’s one more chance to feel that adrenaline in your veins, to ride the thrill ride that is Nebraska football for one more time until that long, long offseason.
IT’S NOT OK TO DEFINE YOUR SELF-WORTH BY THE SUCCESS OF YOUR FAVORITE TEAM
When I was younger, I had an epiphany walking out of Memorial Stadium, feeling terrible about myself after another loss to Oklahoma. I was so sad, and so upset, and so tired of feeling like I was a failure.
And then it hit me. All I was doing was watching a game. Why did I feel like a failure? Sure, I was sad and disappointed, but why was I letting the fortunes of a college football team over which I had precious little control govern how I felt about myself?
That realization has always helped me keep sports and fandom in some degree of perspective – although some times, not as much as it should. It’s part of what I worry about when I hear fans talk about their favorite team as “we.” Sure, it makes you feel good when your team wins.
But the dark part of that is times like this. Feeling sad and disappointed is understandable. But I think a lot of the really toxic negativity that you see from fans comes in large part because such a huge chunk of their self-worth is tied up in the success of their favorite team. So, when the team loses, they perceive it as a slight on themselves personally, and respond with anger and ugliness accordingly.
You don’t need to be embarrassed by the team you support. There’s nothing at all wrong with saying that yeah, they’re kinda garbage right now. You’ll find that you get a lot more respect – at least from some fans of other teams – by being able to take it in a good-natured way and put the sport in the perspective it deserves.
I’m not the biggest Jerry Seinfeld fan in the world, but he got it absolutely right with this.
Don’t fall into that trap, Husker Fan. If you’ve read this far, then I already know you are an amazing, wonderful human being. Don’t let Nebraska’s fortunes blind you of that fact.
Be good to each other, fellow fans. We’re gonna need it for the next few months.